


Water

by SwirlsOfBlueJay



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e04 HalloVeen, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Prison, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 04:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16509674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwirlsOfBlueJay/pseuds/SwirlsOfBlueJay
Summary: “Do you want some water with that?” Amy asks.“I don’t drink water.”“Funny.”“Why would I drink water when I could drink soda or coffee instead?”“Oh my God, you’re serious.”





	Water

“Do you want some water with that?” Amy asks as Jake lays the table for dinner.

“I don’t drink water.”

“Funny.”

“Why would I drink water when I could drink soda or coffee instead?”

“Oh my God, you’re serious.”

“What’s the big deal? I’m fine.”

“Your body needs water Jake!”

“Well, that’s tough because it’s not getting any.”

And that’s when Amy turns on the puppy eyes of doom. “Please Jake, for me.”

Jake sighs. “Fine.”

Amy fist pumps. “Great. I’m going to put together a schedule for you. One that will maximise the efficiency of your fluid intake without getting in the way too much. I need a pen and paper. This is going to be fun.”  

 

*

 

“I’m not drinking any more water, it’s gross.”

Amy sighs, she considers arguing, but it’s Jake’s life and he’s somehow able to cope with the physical rigours of being a cop while water-deprived so it can’t be doing too much damage. “Fine.”

 

*

 

Amy’s been staring at the same line for several minutes. She tries to shake herself out of it. She doesn’t have time for this; she needs to be working on Jake’s case. She needs to get him out of prison and back home where he belongs. But she can’t help it, her gaze drifts back to that one sentence of Jake’s statement where he explains that he re-entered the building to go to the toilet and discovered Hawkins’ illegal activity.

Jake, who only goes to the toilet once every two days. She’s the one who freaked out when she found out that he never drank water and put him on a schedule of eight glasses a day. He’d been drinking more water because of her. That was the only reason he’d needed the toilet. The only reason he’d gone back into the building. The only reason he’d caught Hawkins in the act. This is all her fault.

Guilt swells inside her, wild and vicious, and she can’t think.

(She knows that it’s important that they know Hawkins is corrupt and important that they take her down. But at the moment she couldn’t care less. She would be happy for her corruption to remain undiscovered. And for Jake to still be free.)

Jake is in prison now because of her.

 

*

 

Every time she has a glass of water in front of her she finds herself staring at it like it’s the enemy. She knows it’s dumb. But she can’t help the inescapable fact that they wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for her. And what if Jake thinks it’s her fault too but is just sparing her feelings. That would be terrible. But she would deserve it.

Amy still can’t find a way out of it. She keeps working the case, all hours of the day and night, it’s not that she’s using it as an excuse to avoid visiting Jake (she knows the blame she fears seeing in his eyes is in her head). She just thinks everything will be better once she finally finishes the case and he’s home.

She starts only drinking coffee and soda and tells herself it’s because she needs the caffeine to keep working.

 

*

 

Amy stares at the two glasses of water Jake sets down in front of them.

Jake shrugs. “The coffee in prison sucked.”

The words just burst out of her. “I’m sorry.”

Jake smiles sadly, and wraps his arms around her, “I’m just glad I’m home now.”

But now she’s started and she can’t stop. “It was all my fault. I made you drink all that water and then you had to go to the toilet and then you found her and…”

“Whoa, what are you talking about?” Jake asks, looking confused.

Amy looks down, her voice now quiet, “It’s my fault you found Hawkins. It’s my fault you ended up in prison.”

Jake just stares at her for several moments. “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s not. Even if it sounds dumb, I can’t help it, I feel guilty.”

“This was all Hawkins. I would have found out sooner or later and it’s good that I did. This way she can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

“I know, but it’s not fair.”

“I’ll be alright. We’ll be alright.” 

 

*

 

Amy wakes to Jake sitting bolt upright in bed, sweating and trembling, there are tears running down his cheeks. She wraps her arms around him, waiting for a flinch that doesn’t come, and swallows the lump in her throat before speaking,

“It’s okay, you’re home now, you’re safe now, no one can hurt you. I’m here. I love you.”

Jake squeezes back, tight, as though she can save him from drowning. It hurts all the more because she knows she can’t.

 

*

 

Amy brings Jake glasses of water in the middle of the night when he wakes up. She doesn’t bring anything for herself. They lean against each other, carefully, tired. Talking into the darkness about whatever is on their minds.

And one day Jake sleeps through the night. And one day Amy starts drinking water again. And one day Jake stops. And maybe they’re veering closer to okay again, forever changed, but okay.

 

*

 

Jake hasn’t had a nightmare for a while when he wakes screaming on October 29th. Amy brings him a soda even as she complains that it will be bad for his sleep. They sit silent this time.

Amy doesn’t mention it until the bright light of day, hours later, casually, as if it’s completely unconnected. But Jake knows her better.

“How about we work together on the Halloween Heist this year?”

Jake groans. “I’m fine.”

“I know. This is just a suggestion, you know, a casual suggestion, I’m cool. It will be fun.”

“You’re rambling babe. You know what will be fun? Kicking your ass.”

Amy sighs. “Jake…”

“Look, I’m getting back to being myself, and an important part of that is the heist. You have to promise you won’t go easy on me.”

“Oh, I never said I would go easy on you.”

“Ames. Please.”

“Okay, how about we have a safe word, if things get bad; you say it and we stop.”

Jake sighs. “Fine. But if I don’t say it you have to play properly.”

Amy grins. “I’ll be ruthless.”

 

*

 

Amy has to stop panic spreading over her face when she sees Jake handcuffed. Why would they do this? Don’t they understand? But, of course they don’t, because for such an open book Jake can be so good at hiding.

She expects to hear the safe word as soon as she steps in. But nothing comes. She mentions his bathroom schedule and it doesn’t hurt like it once would’ve. She waits and waits and even pushes a little harder to see if there are any cracks. But he’s fine. So she leaves him there. She has a heist to win.  

 

*

 

Amy hesitates outside the evidence room. She could just walk away and let Jake have this win. He doesn’t have to know she figured it out. It seems like he needs this, after everything. But she knows that the promise was important to him too. It was a symbol. That they were okay. So she opens the door, to take her win.

 

And that night they drink champagne.


End file.
